Light Over Darkness.

He chose darkness , along with hate. To fill his heart . To empty his heart from sorrow and pain , for which he didn't care . But secretly he did and with all of his heart . He spent nights thinking whether everything was okay , whether you were okay . Accompanied with hatred and yet his heart still loved her.

He then had a dream and in that dream , she passed on and he could no longer do anything nor tell her that he still loved her , even though it hurt to do so. In this dream , he regretted his decision. He gave up his ego to tell her this.

After shouting at each other & sorting it out , these two souls decided it'd be better for both of us to just stay friends.

So the boy chose light over darkness. Maybe God wanted him to do so and allowed him to dream such a nightmare. To shake some sense into that boy and tell him that he has better things to do then to hate someone he loves and is loved by.

"To ask for forgiveness , there is only forgiving to do"

Memories.

Gotta watch you burn like a pyromaniac
Look at the way you made me act
So obscene, not even a time machine would take me back,
To a time when gravity couldn't hold us down we had to be,
Together, 24/7, anything else seemed like blasphemy,
Now it's a catastrophe, I'm mad at you, you mad at me,
What happened to us? Its sad to see, I'd rather leave,
Then irritate eachother skate b4 we hate eachother,
Fates got something greater that's waitin patient for each of us...
Don't turn around girl, you know you had enough,
Just go in peace now, yeah throw them deuces up,
We went from two to one, now back to two again,
And despite what we been through, I still call you my friend,
I love you so much, that's why I gotta let you fly,
We had our moments baby, see em all in the blink of an eye,
So spread your wings cuz there's better things, when you sore up high,
And reminisce on this final kiss as we say goodbye.

Wasted Time

I am here to tell everyone , I am okay :) I don't think about her anymore nor do I love her anymore , in fact I hope she suffers for the rest of her life regretting her decision for giving up on us . I still hate her ( that won't ever change) because of her excuses/reasons , her ice queen way of hurting me without thinking at all how I'd feel and her not feeling a single thing.

& I will disclose her reasons/excuses for giving up on us ;

#1 - I am a Muslim , therefore she cannot accept me for what it says on my IC . As she worries about how hard it'll be for us to get married.

#2- The fact that I'm half Malay.

#3 - Commitment issues (then why did you commit to me in the first place?)

yes all of those were her "reasons" . & yet she couldn't see us through till we had to deal with it. Believe me , I thought it all out , in my mind on how we'd overcome this and there was a way but I guess she didn't trust me enough to know that I would've done everything in my power to be together , rather that or she simply let me off easy with her "reasons" Either way , I came out on top . Learning many things and experiencing things I definitely wouldn't have if I never got in this relationship.

“Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go.”

— T.S. Eliot

So I bid you goodbye , suffer without me :D cause I'm doing A-okay without a person like you in my life.

Loser

I gave everything I had to you. My heart and soul and yet it wasn't enough. This has made me think and I don't think I'll ever be the same. No matter how long time passes I will no longer be the same person people thought they knew. I don't think I'll ever put myself in a relationship again. It hurts. The loneliness , I think it could kill someone slowly.

After seeing you on Saturday , i'm more confused then ever. More so in my life have I ever been this confused. Confused about whether there is still an "us" I will not plead to God as it won't help.

I never thought someone could love me and you did.

" Tragedies happen. What are you gonna do? Give up? Quit? No. I realize now that when your heart breaks , you gotta fight like hell to make sure you're still alive.'Cause you are.And that pain you feel? It's life.The confusion and fear? That's there to remind you that things will get better. And that is worth fighting"

I can't fight anymore.I wanna give up. Yes I'm a loser.